In the gritty reboot the overwhelming majority of the country does not want, the 81-year-old President Joe Biden, recently deemed unfit to stand prosecution for alleged criminal handling of classified documents, apparently will face off against the 77-year-old former President Donald Trump, who has been charged by prosecutors with that crime, as well as 90 others. Naturally, the independent deluded enough to believe he can save us from the inevitable is the 70-year-old Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Keen to capitalize on the infirm incumbent’s absence from the usual presidential interview prior to the Super Bowl, a political action committee tied to the Kennedy camp spent $7 million to air a commercial repurposing the original and iconic 1960 ad that catapulted then-Massachusetts Sen. John F. Kennedy to the presidency. This ad replaced pictures of the 35th president with his nephew.

“Do you want a man for president who’s seasoned through and through?” the 64-year-old recording of Kennedy fans says. “A man who’s old enough to know and young enough to do? Well, it’s up to you. It’s up to you; it’s strictly up to you!”

On its face, the attempt to apply such a message to RFK Jr. is a farce. Whereas JFK spent four years in the Navy and 13 in Congress before occupying the Oval Office, the younger Kennedy (who, again, is only five years younger than the average life expectancy for a white man in America) has spent his entire career trafficking conspiracy theories, not engaging in service. A conviction for heroin possession interrupted a momentary stint as a Manhattan assistant district attorney, and Kennedy went on to spend the next few decades of his adulthood as a radical environmental activist and then anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist.

But in many of the worst ways, Kennedy really does emulate his uncle in a manner that makes the supposed excesses of both Biden and Trump seem like child’s play.

Like JFK and plenty of the other Kennedy progeny, Bobby Kennedy’s son was also, as evidenced by the aforementioned heroin conviction, an addict and a junkie who still managed to manipulate the family name to receive opportunities far beyond his merit. Kennedy also managed to parlay two subsequent expulsions from high-brow boarding schools into a Harvard degree.

And like his uncle, the 2024 presidential hopeful also cheated on his wife, but unlike JFK, he tormented her with his serial adultery and financially isolated her in a manner one can only describe as abuse.

Kennedy would later concede that his second wife, Mary Kennedy Richardson, considered him responsible for forcing her away from her career and into financial dependence on him. Of course, he publicly admitted as much at her funeral, after she killed herself while he was financially bleeding her dry and openly conducting an affair with his eventual third wife.

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When it still benefitted him to cleave to the Kennedy clan, RFK Jr. also stuck to the party line as a good Kennedy is wont to do. After his cousin Michael Skakel was convicted of murdering an underage girl named Martha Moxley, Kennedy publicly blamed a black boy named Tony Bryant instead. (In classic Kennedy fashion, Skakel eventually got the conviction reversed on a technicality, and nobody else has ever been convicted for the murder in his place.)

Kennedy has indeed inherited the worst vices of the family elders, and his appeal to the nostalgia only invokes an era when the rich, privileged Kennedy patriarchs could get away with using women, abusing drugs … and sometimes driving women, in some form or fashion, to their deaths.